From: Austin Myers
Date: 24 Feb 2004
Time: 16:40:08 -0800
Remote Name: lsanca1-ar41-4-61-139-009.lsanca1.dsl-verizon.net
Given the evidence for and against the deterioration of marriage, I am of the mindset that marriage is in fact deteriorating. This deterioration is due to socio-economic factors that have so altered marriage that it is hardly recognizable anymore. The shift from doing what is best for the family as a ‘group’ to doing what is best for ME is partially to blame. As our society moves towards a more independent mindset than ever before, marriage can only bear the brunt of its consequences. The deterioration of marriage is manifesting itself in higher rates of divorce than we have had in the past, a less ‘committed’ marriage (meaning if it doesn’t work out….oh well..), and now the attempt by homosexuals to marry. Marriage is an institution that has historically stigmatized divorce and divorce was simply not an option. As women become more independent and gain more power, they now have what it takes to live independently and do not need the help of a man as much. I disagree with Skolnick when she says that our generation is not dealing with anything that is much different than past generations. Our generation is dealing with things that ARE much different. For instance, this generation consists of the children of a past generation that opened the floodgates of divorce. Divorce is now a completely OK option if things aren’t working out or are having ‘irreconcilable’ differences. Some marriages have pre-nuptial agreements that were unheard of in the past. The pre-nuptial agreement assumes that the marriage will eventually breakdown and the commitment is not life-long. We are also now dealing with the attempt of some to enact same-sex marriage. This too was unheard of until now. When that line is crossed, marriage will no longer have any of its meanings protected. All defenses will have been lowered and marriage is now a sieve, which holds no morals. I think that Cherlin’s conclusions fall hand in hand with my ideas of why marriage is deteriorating. People are waiting longer to get married, but are living together. Cohabitation is itself a sign of a deteriorating institution. One can have most of the benefits of marriage while no commitment is made. Marriage is an institution founded on commitment. Not much can be done to repair the Pandora’s box experience that marriage is being pummeled with at this moment. Socio-economic factors cannot permit the reversal of the power exchange to women, as it would only create mass hysteria and make matters worse. The idea that someday same-sex marriage will be acceptable in our society is also disturbing. What next? Can I marry my dog? Or maybe my pet-rock? What meaning is left in marriage, if any? If the definition of marriage has changed so much that what is now the definition is not even comparable to the original definition, then I can only conclude that Marriage has and is deteriorating, falling apart.
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