From: Diane Tornroth
Date: 25 Feb 2004
Time: 17:57:36 -0800
Remote Name: out200-13.sdcoe.k12.ca.us
In regards to marriage I would agree that yes, things are changing, as they always do, and no, marriage is in no serious danger. I think the controversy in this topic stems from the many different interpretations of what marriage should or should not be. Everyone is entitled to their own interpretation be it traditional or not. It has been found that divorce rates are climbing... which obviously divorce is an undesirable outcome that I would hope to be a last resort, but I wonder if it were possible, if we would see differences in people's lives and wellbeing. I don't believe that anyone would get married with plans to divorce, but I do believe that people change, and while we all hope that differences can be worked out, we all know sometimes they cannot. I would much rather have two parents divorce and agree to go their seperate ways than stay together and fight constantly in front of their kids. Even if they hide it, it is unhealthy and children notice everything. I do believe that some people shouldn't have been married in the first place and they most likely didn't think about the decision as much as they should have, but who are we to say who someone should marry, and when the time is right. We live in America, the "land of the free," yet we see it fitting to dictate others lives according to our own perogative. Living in California we should be accustomed to a variety of traditions, cultures, customs, beliefs, etc. We need to determine how much is changing, and how much we just dislike because it doesn't fit into our "bubble" of beliefs. Although, I must agree with Jonathon (I think)who mentioned the changes here in San Diego that can affect a family. Dr. Weigt mentioned that money is the highest stressor in marriages today, and we all know how expensive it is to live here so that may be a significant factor as to the change in marriages today. Also important is that we acknowledge the other changes we are making as a society. We have become more individualistic, and that of course is changing marriage, and our individual meanings of it. However, these are just my opinions, as I said before we all have our own perspectives on this controversial issue. And one more thing, cohabiting is becoming more acceptable because with time we are learning from our mistakes and slowly letting go of our out-dated judgemental beliefs. Again, this is dependent upon each individual, if you choose not to do so, that is just fine, and if you do, thats just as well, either way we need to stop judging others from our own bias standpoints and learn to accept our place among millions of others, be them similiar or opposite, American or not, religous or not..etc, etc. I believe that by attending classes such as this one, and others, we will continue to learn about these issues and set the pace for others. We are on the right track.. and we can expect many more changes to come!
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